sayin 'my god is a good god and he cares'

everyone should listen to this song on repeat for at least a few cycles http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glIXlwwxi68&ob=av2e

in the eye of the hurricane called life

Its been such a good day. Despite waking up at 1pm and being unmedicated for the past 3 days, resulting in me obliviously floating down to the downtown, the day has come together quite nicely.

The medication was picked up finally, and the surge of serotonin coupled with a hazelnut latte set me in the path of jittery energy and bliss.

I love where I am. This place, this space. Full of beautiful people who are living beautiful existences, or even if they aren’t, most of them still manage to emit beauty.

So many friends have contacted me today, and I’ve realized that’s really what life is about- having human connections and loving your friends. Without people, existence is pointless. Not to say that a certain degree of solitude isn’t necessary, I whole-heartedly believe solitude is healthy, but in moderation.

I titled this post “in the eye of the hurricane called life” because that’s the perfect description for how I feel right now. It could be from my erratic sleep schedule and inconsistent compliance with medications, but I feel like life is swirling around me and I’m just sitting here peacefully in a coffee shop, trying to enjoy the moment and find satisfaction in the here and now. But I should be working, I should be doing so much more. I should I should I should. I guilt myself daily on being unemployed and not doing enough right now.

Im reading Russell Brand’s “Booky Wook” right now and I swear to whomever that this man is a genius. It’s gritty and real and fucking hilarious. The literature fits perfectly into my life right now, it’s like a hearty dose of whatever I seem to need at the moment.

The only scheduled event in my life right now if my weekly soccer matches. Tuesday nights from 8:45- 10:15 is the only block of commitment that I have. It’s gloriously concerning.

Home is where the heart is

It's my last night home (in CA) before I go home (to WA). Had a really great visit and just wanted to recap some of the best moments: ~ Boating on Lake Berryessa. So much fun wakeboarding, soo sore the next day. ~ Ride along with the BFD!!!! So many great learning experiences!!! ~ Monterey Bay Aquarium with mom, dad, and NIkki ~ Hanging with Nikki, Sam, and Luke in Lafayette- reminiscing on elementary - high school aka gossiping about where people are at now. ~Spending time with Genna, teaching her how to do "tricks" like sticking out her tongue and going "ahhhh" and high-five-ing ~ Crogans with Will and Lucas (bahaha) ~ Watching tons of Giants games and falling in love with Lincecum/ the rest of the team. ~ Sweet Affair sandwiches!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man, Im gonna miss them. ~ Riding in the Alpha Romeo with my pop I feel like I fit a lot into 10 days. It really felt like a vacation and it was so good to spend time with my loved ones down here. Of course I miss Seattle and my life up there though and can't wait to get back up there. But it's always bittersweet, I have so much that I love about each of my "homes".

Life

It's all about changing and perpetual re-evaluation of yourself and how you fit into this place. Its a never-ending cycle that every human is going through simultaneously. No one ever knows exactly where they are, only where they were before they began wondering. I knew what I wanted to say before I started this entry, but I cannot know what has become of it now.