Saturday, November 12, 2011

Thoughts on Ahmedinejad

Ahmedinejad is kind of like the Sarah Palin of that he makes similar blanket phrases such as "the Iranian people are great people and have made history" and that "terrorism is bad and Iran doesn't believe in terrorism or people killing each other" etc. etc.  He also uses long-winded, round about explanations to completely evade answering questions directly.  Sarah Palin much?  That being said, I think he makes good points on US foreign policy being too invasive and pro-Israel.  I definitely agree with him on some of that. Overall I feel like he tries to come off as being some sort of Zen New Age Ghandi with his talk of "freedom, justice and respect...for all" (Iran's official core values, of course) and all I could keep thinking about was the Iranian gov't and the Basij shooting live rounds into the peaceful protests after the 2009 Election....

I also just love his 1 minute intro/response to Tony Harris' first question about the US accusation that the Iranian gov't helped plot to kill the  US ambassador to Saudi Arabia....his response starts out like this:

"In the name of god, the most benevolent and the most merciful, oh lord, hasten the reappearance of the Mahdi and grant him victory and good health and make us amongts those his followers.  First I would like to say Greetings to all the viewers, and I would like to say Goodnight to the places where it is night and Good Afternoon to the people in the other parts of the world, and I would like to grant happiness to everyone, in the world". 

Is this just the typical type of greeting?  I've never heard him say this type of greeting before....has he gone further off the deep end?  Or has he just reached a certain level of enlightenment and inner peace....??

Friday, September 30, 2011

sayin 'my god is a good god and he cares'

everyone should listen to this song on repeat for at least a few cycles

Thursday, September 22, 2011

in the eye of the hurricane called life

Its been such a good day. Despite waking up at 1pm and being unmedicated for the past 3 days, resulting in me obliviously floating down to the downtown, the day has come together quite nicely.

The medication was picked up finally, and the surge of serotonin coupled with a hazelnut latte set me in the path of jittery energy and bliss.

I love where I am. This place, this space. Full of beautiful people who are living beautiful existences, or even if they aren’t, most of them still manage to emit beauty.

So many friends have contacted me today, and I’ve realized that’s really what life is about- having human connections and loving your friends. Without people, existence is pointless. Not to say that a certain degree of solitude isn’t necessary, I whole-heartedly believe solitude is healthy, but in moderation.

I titled this post “in the eye of the hurricane called life” because that’s the perfect description for how I feel right now. It could be from my erratic sleep schedule and inconsistent compliance with medications, but I feel like life is swirling around me and I’m just sitting here peacefully in a coffee shop, trying to enjoy the moment and find satisfaction in the here and now. But I should be working, I should be doing so much more. I should I should I should. I guilt myself daily on being unemployed and not doing enough right now.

Im reading Russell Brand’s “Booky Wook” right now and I swear to whomever that this man is a genius. It’s gritty and real and fucking hilarious. The literature fits perfectly into my life right now, it’s like a hearty dose of whatever I seem to need at the moment.

The only scheduled event in my life right now if my weekly soccer matches. Tuesday nights from 8:45- 10:15 is the only block of commitment that I have. It’s gloriously concerning.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Home is where the heart is

It's my last night home (in CA) before I go home (to WA). Had a really great visit and just wanted to recap some of the best moments: ~ Boating on Lake Berryessa. So much fun wakeboarding, soo sore the next day. ~ Ride along with the BFD!!!! So many great learning experiences!!! ~ Monterey Bay Aquarium with mom, dad, and NIkki ~ Hanging with Nikki, Sam, and Luke in Lafayette- reminiscing on elementary - high school aka gossiping about where people are at now. ~Spending time with Genna, teaching her how to do "tricks" like sticking out her tongue and going "ahhhh" and high-five-ing ~ Crogans with Will and Lucas (bahaha) ~ Watching tons of Giants games and falling in love with Lincecum/ the rest of the team. ~ Sweet Affair sandwiches!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man, Im gonna miss them. ~ Riding in the Alpha Romeo with my pop I feel like I fit a lot into 10 days. It really felt like a vacation and it was so good to spend time with my loved ones down here. Of course I miss Seattle and my life up there though and can't wait to get back up there. But it's always bittersweet, I have so much that I love about each of my "homes".

Friday, September 2, 2011


It's all about changing and perpetual re-evaluation of yourself and how you fit into this place. Its a never-ending cycle that every human is going through simultaneously. No one ever knows exactly where they are, only where they were before they began wondering. I knew what I wanted to say before I started this entry, but I cannot know what has become of it now.

Monday, August 8, 2011

A Thought Experiment on Neurodiversity

The term "neurodiversity" came up in the documentary Loving Lampposts that I just watched. It made me start thinking about how society categorizes people with disorders, in particular mental and emotional disorders.

The film focuses in on Autism and how Autistic people are misunderstood as disabled, when the reality is that they perceive life and react to experiences differently than most people. This is implying that within the category of "most people", everyone perceives life and reacts to experiences the same, or similarly enough to stay within an acceptable spectrum. Assuming that everyone has a soul, which for this purpose I am defining as unique energy that manifests differently in every human being, then no one has the exact same perception or reaction to any experience. The majority learns how to perceive and react in ways that are congruent with social norms. Perhaps autistic, or otherwise mentally disabled, people simply behave more congruent with what their actual experience is.

I'm naturally prone to depression. I tend to gravitate toward being in a state of sadness. I am capable of getting into intensely emotional experiences that are very difficult for me to get myself out of. At times it affects my ability to maintain a functional life, but overall I have adapted to get along just fine with it. There have been many, many times when I have had to act to disguise myself as normal so that people wouldn't worry about me or think I have a problem. Times when all I've wanted to be is vacant and withdrawn but smile and talk anyway, even though my internal experience is still vacant and withdrawn. I've always gotten decent grades, had good friends, and been involved in a lot of activities and organizations ranging from sports to music.

This was all until March of 2009 when I started taking medication for my depression. Since taking the medication the depressive behavior has virtually stopped. I very rarely get as sad as I used to, and it is never as intense as it used to be. I'm still "me", just more able to fit within the realm of "normal" emotional experiences. I still get decent grades, enjoy sports and music, and have good friends- would say that all the outward signs of "success" are pretty much the same as before I began medication. However, I would argue that my internal experience is much better all-around now than before when I was not on medicine. Does that make it right for me to be taking medication? I don't know. Maybe I am deviating from my natural self.

My point is that I think we are all mentally and emotionally disabled. So if we all are, than no one is, right? I have the sense that this concept could be the next sort of civil rights battle...just as skin color and sexual preference have been, and continue to be, battles in society. Im not sure that civil rights is quite the correct wording here, but the idea is similar; something that was once categorized as a "disorder" can begin to be accepted as order. I don't want to make the mistake of grouping all mental or emotional disorders together, but for the purpose of this thought-experiment Im going to come awfully close to doing so.

I think the idea of tolerance of neurodiversity will become more prevalent in the next decade. My forecast is that people, as I have tonight, will begin to think of autism, depression, bipolar, anxiety, and schizophrenic disorders simply as different ways people perceive and react to stimuli. Different ways of being. I think neurodiversity could really become an acessible concept that will cycle through society in a similar way that racist and homophobic sentiments have and are still cycling through society- that is, racism and homophobia in the US were originally fully accepted until they began being questioned, and eventually totally rebuked.

There are stages of civil progress that any category of marginalized people go through. First they are categorized as "not right" or "not normal" by the majority. They are different from mainstream society so they are feared. Gradually pockets of people who actually know the marginalized minority begin to stand up against the marginalization and demand a second examination of the "fact" that these marginalized people aren't normal. Gradually more and more mainstream folk realize that their previous conceptions about the minority are false. Progress occurs. What were once black and white outlines of normal and not normal are now appropriately blurred to accommodate the reality that is humanity.

Its nighty-night time. Peace.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Is This Real Life?

Lately I've really felt the need to be creative and create things. I did Henna all over my left hand and it looks awful. Someone in my EMT class asked me if a 5-year old went crazy and drew all over my hand. Nope, just me.

Can't wait to live in Capitol Hill for real. Walking and pubic transit and city feel. Cooler people, probably.

Colorful and comfortable clothes is whats up. Laying in the sun and working out is also in. Kombucha is all the rage, oh my gosh. Hanging with people is fun and drinking heavily sometimes happens. Browning out might result.

People are leaving and people are coming back. Transitions are occurring and some level of confusion will always remain.

Just gotta keep calm and carry on. And kill it.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Dreaming Dreams

The news said that Mubarak had been taken out. 'Finally', I thought. Then in a conversation about the north African events, I confused Egypt's situation with Libya' embarassing to be an IPE major and mess those up. 'Too bad Gadaffi isn't gone yet', I thought.

Next I was living in an appartment inside of a mall. A "penthouse" we called it. It was me and one other friend. A guy knocked on our door and just walked straight inside our place. He kept just casually talking a walking further and further into our place. Neither of us really knew what to do. I guarded the steps to upstairs and asked him what the heck he was doing here. He wouldn't give a straight answer. He made his way upstairs and I found the phone (sitting on the kitchen floor) and called 911. I calmly explained the situation that we were in and they said they'd be right over. It was a nice cop guy and he seemed as suspicious about this guy as we were. The guy came downstairs with loads of clothes and stuff he claimed to be his. Neither me or my housemates had ever seen this stuff before. He said he used to live there but when we asked when he had lived there, he couldn't recall the exact year. The policeman patted down the intruder and found a large knife on him. He also found a bizzare wooden sculpture that was full of French Roast coffee grounds. The intruder had a friend that decided to show up at this point. His friend was a chauvinistic pig who kept implying that we slept together. I tried punching him but it didn't work out too well. He was very strong and I felt so enraged that I couldn't defend myself against him.

That was basically the end of the dream. Incomplete as usual.

About Me

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I'm currently a student at the University of Puget Sound and will be going into my senior year this coming fall.

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